My Favorite Disciple
Description
When I saw Saroj Ben I was surprised. She was standing like an unfortunate and unlucky figure. I couldn't believe that she was Saroj Ben. The reason was that before some period back, she was like a Goddess of fortune, beauty and health. I remembered that Vineet after his marriage came to my staff room of the college directly from Vrindavan, and both touched my feet and asked for blessings. I saw Saroj there for the first time. The entire staff was seeing this elegant personality with surprise. Since then, years have been passed with different personalities and meetings……... Sometimes Vineet used to come with his wife to Delhi and sometimes I used to go with my wife to Pilwayi or Ahmedabad. Despite not having children, Vineet and Saroj were happy in their own way. It seemed that the entire season was laughing. But that day?
Yes, I haven't thought that I would go to Ahmedabad and Vineet Lal wouldn't be there. And without Vineet Lal, I don't find the journey of Ahmedabad complete. I never thought that Saroj, who had been like the beauty of spring, was looking like a widow. She was just like a poor and helpless figure. I never thought that I would be remembering Vineet Lal as a dead Vineet Lal. I spent eight years of my life in Gujarat. That time was a very important chapter for my life. It was one of the reasons that I got outstanding disciples. They came into my life and made good bonds with me after leaving Gujarat. The increase in the geographical distance brought the hearts even closer. Every disciple has distinct characteristics; they have their own style. Vineet had his own manner and way.
If one compares the personality of Vineet with his elder brother Navneet, they are contradictory in their physical appearance, and it's surprising to know this. Navneet is calm, introvert and having thin body, and Vineet is fat and when starts speaking keep on speaking.
In 1957 when I went to Baroda from Ahmedabad, the first batch of B.A. students met and they created space in my heart, and Navneet was one amongst them (and once connected they kept on cementing connections). Ahmedabad, in the beginning (and in the end too), seemed strange to me. In that strangeness, my disciple showered the affection as that of a family. Navneet had his home and family there, and he also made me part of his family. Slowly, Navneet and many more students became part of my family and kept on making it large. In 1959, I went Navsari. I came back after a year, then I saw new faces in B.A. Among them, there was Vineet Lal. Navneet introduced me to Vineet and said symbolically that he doesn't study. He has somehow managed to reach this class. He doesn't know what to do next.
His attitude towards liveliness, disinterest in study and rough nature reflected in my memory and many stories came before me forming the virtual image of Vineet Lal. People told a very humorous story about Vineet Lal. It is like that in the evening fog he went to the public toilet and he was in his mood and started urinating on a person who was sitting while urinating. When he stood up while abusing, he realised his condition and then ran away.
Anyway, I used to see him sitting on the first seat in the class. He kept on seeing me silently and I use to feel this fool is not grasping anything, only sitting with vacuum in his brain. His silent face symbolised a shallow foundation. He was familiar with me and I used to go his home also. He always came with his brother and sometimes with some friends and sometimes used to come alone. At the end, slowly he developed a good relationship with me and I felt he drowned in the study. Navneet symbolically told me that Vineet Lal became good in study since he came in contact, it seems he feels life in study. Although I had no certain information or knowledge about his condition, but when I saw the response in his answer scripts, I felt amazed and glad. Vineet Lal has written his answers very nicely. It seemed that he had genuinely listened to me. In his answers my speech was reflected. Now I am confident that he can be encouraged. Navneet was surprised but felt happy. I praised Vineet, and it seemed his confidence had emerged. He said, “By the grace of you Sir, I would accomplish everything.” “No grace in its own way, the root thing is your hard work and confidence. This will lead you ahead.”
Vineet had been very serious in his study and started participating in literary discussions. Seminars were going on. Karunesh, Navneet, Raghunath Bhatt, Avadh Narayan Tripathi, et al used to come at my home, and discuss literature altogether. Now Vineet Lal also joined them. Many times, his seniors wanted to make him silent but with my support Vineet kept his arguments alive. I felt Vineet Lal was excelling. Many times, when his seniors scolded him, I supported Vineet because he was right. Vineet Lal was outspoken, he kept on speaking at stretch and while doing so his head and hand came into motion.
Now Vineet had become a member of my family. In Ahmedabad, he was my favourite and extraordinary disciple - he was brilliant too. But I always felt that Vineet Lal always had the desire to be considered as one of my best students. He had competition with Navneet too. In between the conversation he used to say, “Please leave the topic of Bhaiya.” He had extraordinary desire to be in my contact. He wanted to get my assistance in college, in my home and in his home too. He would massage my head as soon as he entered my home and the same he would repeat when he was at his home. He didn't care that others would call him flatterer or anything. He used to do this work with honesty not under the influence of self. He did not reply to anyone. He only replied to himself.
Vineet Lal had faith despite not being disciplined. He boasted a lot, not with any conspiracy but due to his nature. Therefore, he would boast but it's never possible to completely comply on the statements he made while boasting. I always enjoyed his boasting nature and after hand overing work, I didn't hope the certainty of completion of his work. It will be done if it is meant to be and didn't matter if it didn't, but my wife always used to scold him when he boasted, “Sister-in-law, I will do this, do that, you only order me.” Then wife used to say while scolding, “You are a liar, you will do nothing? Make a fool of your boss, don't make me a fool.”
“Oh, Sister-in-law, what do you say?” While saying this Vineet Lal bowed down to her feet.
Many times, when I get late in returning home, my wife murmurs, "Vineet must have taken him somewhere.” I had an eye operation in a clinic near Vineet's home. After spending seven days when I was going to unwrap my eye, Vineet Lal was with me. Therefore, my wife didn't go with me. But she admonished Vineet Lal, “Take him directly to the clinic and return immediately.” But after unwrapping the bandage around my eye, Vineet repeatedly requested, “Please come home, Sir.” I didn't agree and recalled my wife's admonition. He said, “Leave it, Sir, I will appease my Sister-in-law. She doesn't genuinely get angry at me; she likes me a lot. And she also knows that if you are with this disciple then there will not be any problem.” His request attracted me to his home and he kept on serving me. After spending hours, I came back by auto. Vineet stopped Rickshaw a hundred metres away from my home and said, “I get off here.” I asked, “Why don't you want to come home?” He replied, “No, Sister-in-law will get angry and she will not leave me.” I smiled, “OK bro, as you wish.”
And when I reached home, my wife was out of control. Her eyes were tearful. When I reached, she questioned, “Where were you? I assumed that something was wrong.”
“No, no…all is well.”
“Then, where did you get late? Vineet must have taken you to his home. Oh! That unfortunate man, he would not leave his habit. How many times I forbade him, but he listens to no one. He took you and, in this condition, he sent you alone from his home.”
“No, he can't do such a thing. He came with me.”
“Where is he then?”
“He feared your anger and returned from outside.”
“And you didn’t think that, due to anxiety, I would be frustrated. Vineet took you to his home and you went along silently. Are you an innocent child? Now let Vineet come next time? He will see what I do to him?”
But Vineet kept coming again and again. My wife's anger increased day by day and so do my faith in Vineet Lal. I sometimes used to scold my wife, “Why are you always scold this poor boy?” But Vineet Lal always said, “Sister-in-law doesn’t really scold me. She loves me a lot.” I experienced this love during an unfortunate incident. It was the time when I got the information about the death of Vineet Lal. My wife was in inconsolable condition. Tears were flowing from her eyes and our world went silent for hours. We didn’t have food that day. After so many silent hours, she spoke to me, “How innocent Vineet was! He used to visit our home like a son. He used to laugh even after I scolded him. Ahmedabad will not feel the same, when I go there this time.”
Anyway, this is another matter. Now years have been passed. We moved from Ahmedabad to Delhi. But Vineet got diabetes at that time. Vineet Lal was irregular in his eating and drinking habits. He did know where these irregularities would lead him. That’s why, I forbid him when he is having something with me. He would affirm to me in his own style, “Nothing will happen and no one could do any harm, if your blessings are there with me.” And he bowed down and touched my feet. He always wanted to spend time with me and he would take me to many places and to some restaurants and order many things. I take as much as I need. But he takes a lot and eats and leaves, never looking back. I always convince him, “Why do you do this mischief?” He replied, “Oh Doctor, it's nothing. I just like to taste these. Anyway, I want your company on any pretence.” And his respect kept increasing due to work of moderation. I stayed in Baroda for months. He kept coming many times, then it’s the same story again. He took me and Ramakant to any restaurant and ordered many things to eat, then he left and it's all the same story again.
Vineet completed his M.A. and he was in search of a job. But I always felt that he was not having any tension about the job. He always replied calmly, “I will get it, Sir. I'm doing this and I’m doing that.” After saying this, he laughed out loud. Those days, due to an issue in Saint Xavier College, my job was in danger. I had to get back to Delhi. Among my extraordinary disciples, Vineet cried a lot. After coming to Delhi, neither I left Ahmedabad nor Vineet Lal. Instead, they became closer to me. Vineet’s sister was married in Delhi. And Navneet's in-laws' house was already here. He kept coming to Delhi and I too kept on going to Ahmedabad for various purposes. Therefore, we met frequently. If Vineet was in Delhi, he would definitely come to meet me. Since I did not have cell phone at that time, I got the unexpected happiness of meeting. He got Job in Pilwai. He was doing research on Hindi regional novels. He got extra self-confidence. He started raising some big issues. I sometimes applaud him and he obediently says, “Oh sir, I didn’t do anything. It was all your grace upon me.”
Once, to my surprise, he came to my residence situated at Model Town. I was somewhere in the city. I came and saw Gyan Chand, Gupt and Vineet Lal were sitting in the drawing room and discussing literature. After that, my wife told me that discussion was less on literature and more on the topic of who loves you more and what are your achievements in literature? I laughed.
Vineet was a Lecturer in Pilwai. He has requested me to come to Pilwai with my wife and stay there with him for some time. He is married now. He got married after I came back to Delhi. I was getting a chance to go to Ahmedabad. This time I made up my mind to go to Pilwai too. It was the month of December. Gujarat looks very beautiful in December. Vineet came to Mehsana to take us to Pilwai. There was one more reason to go to Pilwai. My favourite disciple, Dr. Mahaveer Singh Chauhan, was the Head of the Department. Prabhu Lal Vaishya was also there. My disciple Bhanwar Lal Gurjar was also there around the town of Mansa. I will meet everyone leisurely and will have a nice talk with them. Because of these wonderful reasons, I went to Pilwai and I really felt his happiness. I spoke at Pilwai College. Everyone paid their love and respect, even the principal. Many days, we basked in the sunshine of December and wandered for many hours in the field of blossomed mustard fields. I rejoiced at the sound of cuckoo and mango flowers (yes, mango trees get flowers in December there).
Every evening, we used to get together with Vineet Lal and Dr. Chauhan. Kiran from the English department was also there with us. The life here was serene and happy unlike the busy life of Delhi. And what to say about the Vineet couple? Both wanted to bind my love and affection. When everyone left, we were the only four people there. I lied down in our comfort zone and Vineet and Saroj Ben used to serve us and help us relax. For a long time, this is how we had long discussions. Vineet still had so much strength in him as diabetics still didn’t take a hold of him.
After many days, time had come to leave Ahmedabad. It felt like I was just going from there physically, but my mind wouldn’t move from there. As we were leaving, there were tears in the eyes of Saroj Ben and she was wiping them again and again and asked us, “When will you come again?” After this, we met Saroj Ben many times here and there. It was her own home. Meeting someone on a journey is a different thing and getting someone in our home is something else in a different way.
As I said, Gujarat became closer to me once I came back to Delhi from Ahmedabad. My well-wishers were always near to my heart and they used to invite me on different occasions. Wherever I was in Gujarat, Vineeth used to visit me there. When I was in Ahmedabad, he used to take leave from college and was with me. In this regard, an academic seminar is very memorable in all these visits. At that time, my friend, Mr. Harihar was principal there and Navneet Lal was the Head of Department in Hindi. There were many seminars held in Hindi and Gujarati and many scholars and authors of both languages were there. I had to join because of both requests. Once I was ill and they persistently requested me to attend. I had to attend. They booked an air ticket for me. It was always a moment of enjoyment to meet outsider friends. I got to meet and familiarise myself with many Gujarati writers. Vineet Lal always received me with warmth. A strange incident happened once. After the seminar, Vineet Lal came into my room with his disciples and friends. After sitting for a while, he went back. After having food, we went for a walk and then I searched for my sandals. My sandals were gone and there were other sandals like mine that were small in size. It seemed like someone from the group wore mine and left theirs instead. Vineet Lal was the only one capable of such a miracle. Even though I left that matter for then, I was anxious about tomorrow. How can I go anywhere with naked feet? What if Vineet Lal doesn’t come the next day or is even late by sometime? Everything is possible with him. What if he forgets about this after reaching his place? Didn’t he even feel uncomfortable wearing big size sandals on his small feet? If he didn't feel it here, it's not certain he felt after reaching there. What is going to happen? But he came to my room, the next day, before the seminar and felt shy and bad about it. He got scolded by me. When Navneet became Principal in the college, he invited me too. My representative poetry has been read in North Gujarat University which was edited by Raghuveer Chaudhary. Therefore, in my lecture time, there were many teachers who came with their students. Then Vineet became Head of the Department as Dr. Mahavir Chauhan went to Vallabh Vidya Nagar. Therefore, he came with his army again and requested me to come to his college. Next day, I could not go there. Yes, in between establishing Eader College, I definitely went there and Vineet had to be there.
I was able to see his illness among all the excitement and activity. He was struggling with the influence of diabetes day by day. I got to know from people that he is irregular with his eating habits. While foreboding, he started saying, “Friends, everyone will die someday. What if I die a little early? And until I’m alive, why should I deprive myself from eating?” When he spoke to me in the same way, I said, “It's fine Vineet, my son, but think about the people you are leaving behind. She will be all alone, make yourself better for her.”
“Sir, life and death are not in our hands. But, no need to worry, I will leave my home and lots of money for her. She will not be alone. My adopted son, who is my brother’s son, is there. He will be with her. And you are familiar with the human nature of my brother Navneet. She will not be destitute or not sad with him by her side. He will first feed her and then he will eat.”
I bowed to this faith and prayed to God that this should happen. This means, he was able to see his death. And I remember my last meeting with him. I reached Ahmedabad with my wife. I expected someone to be there at the station. When I went there, almost everyone used to know about my program. But, everyone has their own busy schedule. If anyone had time, they would come. Otherwise, I reached my destination on my own. I got off the train and I saw no-one there. When I went on, I saw Vineet Lal is coming with the help of a walking stick towards me. There was a wrap on one leg. When I asked, he said there was a wound and it was not getting dry and kept on increasing day by day. I never imagined to see Vineet, who was a symbol of humour and always straightforward, in that condition. Wife was perplexed and questioned him with concern, “What happened to Vineet?”
“Nothing to worry, Sister-in-law. Everything is fine,” said Vineet. Vineet tried to hide his pain by being his outspoken self. But I could see the underlying pain in him.
I took tea and sat on a bench. Then Vineet said, “I got your letter and I’m coming directly from College.”
“But why did you come in this condition, Vineet?”
“Sir, I want to be here even if there are other people to receive you. I want to be here for you.”
My wife said, “What is the need to take so much stress on yourself, mad boy. Is Ahmedabad city unfamiliar to us?”
“It is familiar or unfamiliar, how can I leave the excitement of meeting you both?”
There was a silence. When I got up to leave the place. Vineet spoke with a deep voice, “Sorry sir, I cannot come with you. I will go home. i.e. Dariyapur, from here.
“Anyway, I will not take you with us. You go and take a rest. We will go to Raghuveer Chaudhary's home now.”
Vineet touched my feet and when he touched my wife 's feet, his eyes were wet. He said, “Sister-in-law, I made you sad many times, please forgive me. I don't know whether we will meet again or not.” Saying these words, he took his walking stick and went away.
We were shocked. Wife’s face got welled up because of tears that were trying to come out. We slowly walked out of the station. Yes, it was my last meeting with Vineet Lal.